Things I Want to Say to Catcallers

Dear Catcallers,

Yes, yelling at me about my fat ass (or some variation thereof) TOTALLY works. That's actually how I met my fiance. And now that I know how you truly feel about my gigantic behind, I can leave him for you, my true intended, and we can have lots of sex and babies. That's totally how this works.  #Mint2Be

If you block my path, I can't be held responsible for what I do next.

So what exactly do you want to happen right now? What is your end goal? What exactly would you do if one of us actually turned around and thanked you and gave you a phone number?

When you tell me I'd be prettier if I smiled more, I just think you'd be less of an asshole if you talked less.

You're not "just complimenting" me. Did you compliment that dude's sunglasses over there? Or that dude's shoes? Or that one's new hair cut? No. No you did not. Because it's not about compliments; it's about asserting your power over me, making me stop and acknowledge you, making everything (for that matter) about you, AS PER USUAL. 

I don't get ten flying fucks what you think of me, whether you think I have a fine ass or whether you think I'm an ungrateful slut bitch (more on that later), because, (and this will be shocking) I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU. I don't know you; you don't get an opinion on me. You can take your opinions and just fuck right off. 

Lastly, I still don't understand how rejecting your sooooo romantic advances makes me a slut. Now let's get this straight right now, I am pro-slut, pro-ho, pro whatever a woman wants to do with her body. But if we're talking the definitions of words, it just doesn't work. Find a new insult that at least makes sense. 

Oh and go fuck yourself. 


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