I resolve to be unresolved

What? Yeah I don't get the title either. It's probably witty or something. Just go with it.

So the new year just rolled the fuck over and people are celebrating and kissing 2017 the fuck goodbye.

Or people are stocking their bunkers for the inevitable nuclear fallout because President Volatile is determined to get into a nuclear dick-measuring contest with his South Korean twin.

And the normals are making resolutions. Maybe they want to exercise more or drink less or quit smoking or whatever. I've never been a resolutions person. I figure that if you want to change something, do it; you don't need a stroke of midnight once a year to magically somehow become someone else. But, with the world burning down and our collective deaths imminent, why bother to quit smoking? Why not enjoy that last, delicious cigarette before kissing your ass goodbye? (Yes, I used to smoke. No, I don't miss it. Yes, one of those sentences is a lie.)

But, as I showered on New Year's Eve, I stood in the warm water and contemplated whether or not I wanted to live in a dystopian landscape or not (I don't think I do, much too lazy.) and it occurred to me: there is no more fucking time to waste! Time to FINALLY, for the first time, to make some resolutions. 

So here you go:

In 2018, I resolve to give less fucks about how everyone else on this cesspool of a planet thinks of me. 

I resolve to never move off the sidewalk for one more man, whether it's 3 men who can't be bothered to notice another person walking their way, or that one large man who has parked it in the damn center of the sidewalk as if the street is lava and, well, women deserve to fall in the lava right? Of course, walking in the actual street is dangerous, asshole, because CARS DRIVE THERE!

I resolve to give more shit to (in no particular order) mansplainers, interrupters, one-uppers, time and energy suckers, and men who irritate me. 

I resolve to not give any time or response or energy to men who feel entitled to it. They're not. And I don't owe them anything. 

I resolve to smile less.

I resolve to take up more space.

I resolve to stop apologizing for existing. 

I resolve to never say excuse me when a man doesn't say it first.

I resolve to emasculate each and every catcaller I come across regardless of the potential dangers. I'm DONE letting them have one more second of power over me. 

I refuse to not coddle one more male ego. Oh you feel attacked? Poor fucking baby. Oh you're confused or horrified at the world you're just now noticing? You're all NOT ALL MEN-ing me? GOOD. SIT IN THAT SHIT. Stew in it, until your fingers get all pruney. 

I resolve to not back down from friends who are spouting bullshit. Stop spouting bullshit! 

I resolve to be less afraid of confrontation and call out more racism, antisemitism, homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, and the MANY other bigotries we all face daily EVERY SINGLE TIME I witness it.

I resolve to not be a defensive white asshole. I will listen and sit in uncomfortable truths and I will not stop working to be better. I will constantly confront the racism within me, as is within all of us.

I resolve to HULKSMASH the motherfucking white, Christian, cis-het, oligarchical patriarchy!

I resolve to not participate in the erasure of my own sexual identity. 

I resolve to put myself first, always.

I resolve to not shrink or hide myself. 

I resolve to be big and loud and unpleasant and rude and pissy and brashand bitchy and bossy and shrill and authentic and real. Anyone who doesn't like it can go fuck themselves.