Nobody Deserves a Baby

 And I mean you. And you. Also you. You too. No one deserves a baby.

It's been like over two years that I had this inane argument in someone's else's comment section on TikTok, but it's still bothering me, so now I'm bothering you with it.

I don't even remember what my initial comment was, but I do know this was on a post of a Fist Mom friend of mine. And this woman replied to me something like: Do you believe that fertile people are more deserving of a baby?

And I said, "Nobody deserves a baby."

And she said, "You didn't answer my question. Yes or no, do you believe that fertile people are more deserving of a baby?" 

And I said, "That is my answer. It's not a yes or no, because I don't think a baby, a child, a person, is something someone can be deserving of."

And she said, "You didn't answer my question. Yes or no, do you believe that fertile people are more deserving of a baby?" 

And I said, "I don't think anyone deserves a baby, fertile or not."

And then it went on like that for a thousand years. Legend has it we're still arguing the same points over and over until our fingers finally fall off.

But I think that's the crux of the problem: the adoption industry has convinced people that babies are something they can deserve to have while I think that humans aren't possessions or property or a reward or anything to quantify.

Because deservedness is, at it's heart, a capitalist notion. 

Outside of capitalism, we wouldn't need to earn most of the things we currently have to: water, food, health care, shelter, rest, etc. But we've been convinced that those that have deserve what they have because they've supposedly earned it, while those that don't have haven't.

If we apply this logic to humans, baby humans, doesn't that also sound super duper fucked up? Fertile people haven't earned the right to have children because that's not something you earn. Having a baby isn't a reward for good behavior; it's an accident of nature. And adopting a child isn't your consolation prize for not being able to conceive and birth a tiny human. 

Because babies and children are people and people are not property. 

Full stop. 

Thinking you can deserve a child means that you view that child as a commodity. 

And I do know one institution (among others) that still view children as commodities: the multi-billion dollar adoption industry. But is it any surprise that in nation that was founded on using humans as commodities (and who still legalize certain forms of slavery in many states) views children as something we trade like stocks and NFTs? 

So, no, I won't even entertain the idea of deservedness when it comes to having children, because the entire premise is fucked up. Someone bought and paid for me when I was 3 months old, but I won't stop fighting against that same practice that is still selling babies on a regular basis by convincing you that you're just as "deserving" of a child as someone who pushed one out of their body, so just buy one instead. 

*Insert card, select payment type, use pin pad to complete transaction*

You don't deserve a baby. No one does. Babies are people and people aren't commodities.

You may be confused about that because people treat adoptees like baby dolls to be bought and sold, but we are, in fact, contrary to popular belief, humans.